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Munchkin alert

PUBLISHED: 16:29 30 April 2008 | UPDATED: 14:42 25 August 2010

UNRULY children need and actually deep down want a good thrashing. So say hardliners at the Grumpy Old Men party, who we ve never heard of before, but suspect will have to endure persistently in the future.

UNRULY children need and actually deep down want a good thrashing. So say hardliners at the Grumpy Old Men party, who we've never heard of before, but suspect will have to endure persistently in the future.

With a Dad's Army logic crossed with Addams Family practice, the Grumpies say they would "painfully reinforce" ground rules to 'orrible kids.

Sounds a bit sinister to us, especially when you hear about their plans for some kind of monstrous dungeon where they will apparently look after naughty children.

They say: "Children who consistently and wilfully break the ground rules will be removed to an ever-so-caring but totally merciless Grumpy 'Whack a Munchkin' support facility located somewhere deep in the bowels of the earth."

Over at the Diary we're pretty sure you can get locked up for this kind of suggestion. But, hey, we're not judging. Then again, after a little more frothing about obeying rules, the Grumpies make a spectacular and incriminating exeunt: "When they break those rules, as all good kids with an ounce of spirit in them will occasionally do, they expect to be soundly thrashed."

Are the police reading this? Of course you are, you're everywhere. Please arrest these people.

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